This piece was originally written for Stand Up! Records, for whom I am a copy writer and loyal laugher. Written, unbidden, just after hearing Mike had died, it’s still one of my favorite pieces. Hasty, but heartfelt.
Mike DeStefano, a light of compassion in a dark world, passed away on March 6, 2011. And just like he predicted in an interview on Marc Maron’s WTF Podcast last December, it wasn’t drugs, disease, or his own hand. He had a heart attack and, just like that, we lost a friend.
Two of the stories Mike shared in that groundbreaking interview really capture his spirit. The first was about caring for his wife as she died. He said that taking care of her in those years was the best thing he ever did: it proved to him that he wasn’t a piece of shit, that he was capable of deep love and commitment. He said, “Maybe I am afraid of commitment,” because, “I know what it means. I’m going to be there until I bury you.” We’ll let you listen to the rest of the “Harley story” on your own.
When Mike was in the Twin Cities last, he performed at Acme Comedy Company and worked with us on recording his next record. He even got a tattoo (not the one we set up for the photoshoot for the CD cover, but still…). Of all the things we could have done, we walked around the Mall of America talking shop, and Mike got himself a chair massage. When he walked out of that place, he was radiating. Mike, happy in the moment, full of warmth, open to the world in all its darkness and light. That’s how we’ll remember him.